What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence - is a problem that knows no boundaries of age, financial status or race. It keeps families under stress and neighborhoods in turmoil. It can strike at any family member, from the tiniest newborn to an 80 year old grandparent, and take any form from verbal abuse to sexual assault, beatings and worse.
Because of the family relationships, victims of violence in the home usually feel both afraid and embarrassed. Many are convinced that they did something to deserve the abusive treatment and most feel powerless to change the situation or escape from it. Often, after a violent incident takes place, everyone involved wants to believe the assaults are over for good. But unfortunately statistics show that the violence is likely not only to repeat itself, but to become even worse the next time.
Domestic Violence Is Against The Law
It's important to remember that domestic violence is a crime and that there is no need to suffer in silence. Help is available for both the victim and the offender.
What Can You Do When Abused Or Threatened?
If you are being beaten or anticipate an attack, leave the scene immediately. Go to a neighbor, friend or relative for temporary shelter and notify the police. Seek medical attention immediately if you are seriously injured. Even if your injuries are minor, you should still see a medical professional as soon as you can. Some injuries may not be obvious to you. Tell the medical professional exactly how the injuries happened and make sure he or she notes this in your record.
You may want to talk to someone who can advise you on family shelters or give you emotional support. All shelters have 24-hour telephone crisis assistance.
Accept the fact that you can't solve the problem by fighting back or trying harder to be perfect. Instead, consider turning to the protection that is rightfully yours by law.
For Your Safety
When you call the police and an officer arrives, describe what happened. Tell the officer about any injuries such as bruises, cuts, redness or tender areas. Also let the officer know if anyone else witnessed the incident and can support your statement. The officer will decide if there is enough evidence to make an arrest. The officer should give you a card with the names and telephone numbers of shelters which will assist you.
What Can You Do The Next Morning?
The family member will probably apologize and promise that the abuse will never happen again. As sincere as these promises may be, don't let them stop you from protecting yourself against future abuse by taking these important steps.
Tell someone. Don't let shame or fear keep you from confiding in a relative or close friend. If the abuse remains a secret, neither the abuser nor the victim will ever be forced to face the problem and deal with it realistically. Above all, don't let yourself be isolated from caring, concerned people who can give you emotional support and help you in the future.
It may be necessary to move away from the abuser for a while. There are a number of family shelters throughout Arizona that can provide safe, supportive short-term housing for you and your children. Contact Information And Referral (881-1794), or Pima County Victim Witness Program (740-5525) for more information.
It is important that you think about what you will do if the violence happens again. Having a plan puts you in control and gives you the emotional strength you'll need. The Police or Sheriff Departments, a shelter, Information and Referral or Pima
County Victim Witness Program can provide you with information on counseling agencies, family shelters, order of protection, legal assistance and other community resources available to you.
Why Do Women Stay?
Too often the question is asked, "Why didn't she just leave?" The answer is more complex than blaming the women's inner strength. In many cases the threat of leaving the abuser can put the victim in an even more dangerous position.
Battered women typically underestimate their abilities. They often feel powerless, hopeless and immobilized: they may exhibit symptoms of depression, suicide, substance abuse or psychosomatic illness. Even women who have meaningful careers, or who must work, feel guilty about working. They view the man as the "head of the family" and feel their income belongs to him.
A woman may not leave battering immediately because:
- She realistically fears that the abusive behavior will escalate and become even fatal if she attempts to leave.
- Her friends and family may not support her leaving.
- She knows the difficulties of single parenting in reduced financial circumstances.
- There is a mix of good times, love and hope along with the manipulation, fear and intimidation.
- She may not know about or have access to safety and support.
- The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence |
