Characteristics of People Who Batter
The characteristics that follow are not predictive of violence nor are they intended to be exhaustive or definitive. Rather, they are intended to help you understand the batterer's behavior. It is important to note that some of the characteristics may be present in non-violent people.
Demographic Characteristics
People who batter come from all walks of life, all socioeconomic, ethnic, religious, employment and age groups. Despite these differences, they all have in common their experiences as violent people.
Victims Of Abuse As Children
Often, as children, people who batter either witnessed violence between family members or were battered themselves. The people rarely make a connection between their own violent behavior and what they experienced in childhood. If helped to identify and integrate emotions about being a victim of violence during childhood, the batterer can sometimes develop empathy for the feelings of the abused partner.
Minimization And Denial
Most people who batter tend to minimize the seriousness of their violent behavior to themselves as well as to others. ""A little fight" might mean that the victim was hospitalized. Because people who batter do care and have intimate relationships with their victims, it is painful for them to fully recognize what they are doing - the minimizing is a form of denial rather than lying.
Externalization
People who batter attribute many successes and all failure to external factors. They justify assaults by attributing their cause to the victim, alcoholism, hypoglycemia or some other external factor.
Impulsivity
Many, but not all, people who batter are impulsive. They often act without thinking of the consequences of their actions. This impulsivity may also be apparent in how they participate in treatment programs. Some will drop in and out of treatment in the same rapid fashion as they make other decisions within their lives.
Isolation
The batterer takes an active role in isolating his/her partner. He/she also imposes isolation on themselves. They distrust others and avoid self disclosure. He/she may offer to help a friend but will rarely seek help. He/she often reports that their friendships and contacts with others are superficial. Even those people who appear to have many friends say that they would not discuss any of their problems with a friend.
Dependency On And Excessive Possessiveness Of The Victim
In the face of isolation, many batterers state that the only person they feel close to is the person they abuse. The total dependency on the victim is shown through extreme possessiveness of irrational jealousy. They are terrified that their mate might do something to leave the relationship. The chance of violence against the partner is more likely when the batterer perceives that the partner is making a move to be dependent. Even a very small move, such as selecting a household article without consultation, can precipitate battering.
Control And Domination
People who batter are often characterized as having a great need to control situations and people. They usually define this control as being "in charge" of external situations. Rarely do they define control in terms of self-control.
Tendency To Express Most Emotions As Anger
People who batter talk about having two speeds: "everything is fine" and "anger". They rarely acknowledge emotions or feelings (for example: hurt, excitement, sadness, vulnerability) between these two extremes. Rather, they tend to lump together a wide range of emotions and identify the feeling of anger.
Depression And Suicide
Some of the people who batter experience a great deal of depression and, at times, become suicidal. Like the violence, depression or suicide may appear when the batterer perceives possible separation from the spouse or perceives other steps to change the situation. Thus, people who batter are at high risk to themselves as well as to other people.
Relationships Of Alcohol/Drug Abuse To Battering
There is a high correlation between substance abuse and battering. It may be that alcohol or drugs reduce inhibitions against battering, but one does not cause the other. (However, there is some evidence that speed or angel dust may trigger violent behavior). There are batterers who do not drink and alcoholics who do not batter. For some people who batter, the battering is tied to the abuse of alcohol and alcohol treatment can stop the violent behavior. However, there are many people for whom both the alcoholism and the battering behavior must be treated or the violence will not stop. Batterers are predisposed to batter and use alcohol as a reason.
Characteristics of Battered Women
Characteristics of battered women supported in the findings of research studies conducted by Lenore E. Walker and Elaine Hilberman include:
Childhood Histories of Violence
Approximately 50% of battered women report violence between their own parents (usually the father assaulting the mother), paternal alcoholism, and their own physical and/or sexual abuse as children. A majority of battered women also report premarital pregnancies and marriage during their teenage years as ways of escaping from their families of origin.
Low Self-Esteem
Battered women typically underestimate their abilities to do anything. They doubt their competence and underplay any successes. They are in constant doubt about their abilities as housekeepers, mothers or sexual partners. Battered women often feel powerless, hopeless and immobilized; they may exhibit symptoms of depression, suicide, substance abuse or psychosomatic illness.
Use of Beliefs to Explain Brutality
Battered women believe that "a woman's proper place is in the home". Even those women who have meaningful careers, or who must work, feel guilty about working. They view the husband as "head of the family" and feel their income belongs to him.
Lack of Trust
Because of their childhood histories, social isolation, and feelings of helplessness, battered women do not believe that anyone can help them. When they do attempt to seek help, it is frequently for problems other than abuse, such as financial, child-rearing, depression, etc. They are unlikely to bring up the problem of battering.
Peace-Keepers
Battered women attempt to control other people and events in the environment to keep the batterer from losing his temper. They make themselves responsible for creating a safe environment for everyone. When the environment becomes unsafe, they attempt to minimize or deny the danger to themselves and to their children.
Chronic Apprehension
Battered women frequently exhibit agitation and anxiety bordering on panic. They are unable to relax or sleep. Often, they fear loss of control and struggle to contain and control their aggressive impulses. A minority of battered women do lose control, act on aggressive impulses and fight back physically, fantasize plan for murdering their husband, or become homicidal.
Adapted from L. Walker, The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row, 1979 and from Elaine Hilberman "Overview: The Wifebeater's Wife Reconsidered", American Journal of Psychiatry. 137:11, November 1980 |
